My first post…In search of an identity.

It started off as a joke. A complete non-sequitor. We were just putting random words together. Burlesque monkey. Inflatable cheese. Preheated triangle. There were many really funny pairs that we created that night, but one always stood out to me. Angry Pie. I always had a clear picture of it in my head. A frowning, anthropomorphic pie standing on two legs and shaking its tiny fists at…whatever. It’s a cute contradiction. Something sweet, known for bringing joy to people, but simultaneously furious and bitter. A simple item with a complicated meaning.

Until one day I was grocery shopping and saw a lone pie sitting on the shelf. The crust around the outside was slightly discolored and the top of the filling was cracked in various places. If you looked at it from the right direction, the pie is unhappy. After approaching the counter and identifying the isolated pie, the phrase instantly took on new meaning. Not just a grumpy pie with a permanent frown – angry at the prospect of being eaten, but a jealous, lonely pie angry over circumstances entirely beyond its control.

From this, the Angry Pie became connected to me on a much more personal level. I struggle with jealousy often and have bouts of depression when caught between circumstances that I have absolutely no control over or any effect on. The Angry Pie became a metaphor for some of the darker moments in my life and an icon to drive me to be a better pie….I mean, person. The Angry Pie is what I strive NOT to be.

So now that I have some semblance of the direction I need to go (or at least I know which direction I don’t want to go), I’m left with a few lingering questions that I just can’t get out of my mind. Did the Angry Pie end up the way it is because it started out angry and drove the other pies away, or did it become angry because of its circumstances? If it started out angry then it has no one to blame but itself, but if it is angry because of its circumstances then how can it change? A pie can’t walk itself out of the store. Once it’s baked it can’t re-make itself. The pie is what it is. If it can’t get away from its situation and is unhappy, what can it do. It needs help from an outside source. A catalyst of sorts.

Someone has to come and accept the pie for what it is. The pie has to wait for someone to help. That is a very dark place.

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