Monthly Archives: May 2014

Fourteenth Post……….trying to keep my patience

So, I am trying to stay patient and upbeat while stuck in personal limbo. I want to make the jump to high school and I have a line on a good job, but I am waiting to hear back from them about the job.

There are several new games that I really want to buy, but we have no money to buy them with right now. We probably won’t have money to get new games until September. That would make it at least 7 months since our last game purchase, which is the longest we’ve gone without buying a new game is a really long time.

I seem to be waiting for everything else to get solved before I can move forward. This is very frustrating.

There are so many things that I want, and many things standing in my way of getting them, but removal of these obstacles is not up to me. I have to wait to see if other people are going to remove these obstacles for me. I hate this.

If I push and try to influence people’s minds, then it ends up backfiring on me and I don’t get what I need/want. If I leave it up to fate and just pray for what I need, then the other people who are so crucial to my success end up forgetting about me and choose a different path.

so I’m damned either way. This fucking sucks.


Thirteenth Post…..Praying for a job change

So, I teach at a “high risk” middle school, and I’ve been looking to change jobs for a couple of years now. It’s not because of the status of the school or the low income students. I like most of the students in my school, but I always wanted to teach at the High School level. It’s just been a dream of mine from the time I started teaching.

There’s a higher maturity level at High School (compared to middle school there is!), most of the students can provide their own transportation, the curriculum is more challenging and fun for me to teach and the interaction level between teacher and student is better. I just want to teach High School.

A couple of times in the last few years, I thought that the timing was going to work out for me. Last year a position opened up at a school where a good friend teaches. This gave me an in, and I killed the interview. I thought that I had the job in the bag. A few days later, I get an e-mail that the school went with someone else. I contacted my friend and asked if she could find out what happened. She said that she thought someone at my current school or district was black-balling me. That is the nearest I could find out.

So, fast forward to a month ago, and another perfect job opens up at a great high school that my middle school feeds into. I have plenty of former students who tell me that not only should I apply for the job, but that they are so excited at the possibility of me teaching there. I contacted the teacher who was retiring to set up an informal meeting to talk about the school and the job. I get to meet the principals and see some of my former students. I feel like I’ve completely killed it, and am psyched up to do a formal interview and get the job.

Two weeks later, I follow up with the principal to find out if there is any new information about the job or if there is anything else I need to submit for consideration. The next day I get a reply that the position was already filled.


My jaw and my confidence went through the fucking floor. I didn’t even get an interview for my perfect job. I was devastated.

Fast forward to last Thursday. My co-worker e-mails me that another position had just opened up at another High School that my middle school feed into. It’s not as good as the previous school I applied to, but it’s a high school job. As a bonus, the principal at this High School is someone I used to work with and had a great working relationship with. I apply. I get a positive recognition e-mail from the principal and am told to contact his secretary to set up an interview for Monday. It turns out that my coworker who told me about the job is also applying for a different job at the same school and her interview in scheduled for 30 minutes after mine. Cool.

I show up Monday morning and have what I feel is a really good interview. We catch up a bit, and he asks a few of the standard questions. I feel pretty positive. Then he tells me that I’d have to come back for a second interview with a couple of other teachers that this position has to collaborate with on a regular basis. OK. No biggie. He says that he’ll have to get back with me about scheduling a second time to meet.

I see my current co-worker as I’m leaving the office and we joke for a bit, the three of us, before I leave for my current school.

Normally, I would not be freaking out right now, because it’s the day after I interviewed. However, I get an e-mail this afternoon from my co-worker saying that the High School principal already contacted her back and offered her a job.


I start actively trying to keep my paranoia at bay. Was I not good enough and I’ve already been eliminated from consideration? Did the other two teachers already nix my candidacy? What is going on?

I fight the urge to send an e-mail to the principal directly asking for an update, and instead send a friendly follow up message thanking him for his time, and letting him know that my schedule is flexible to meet the needs of those other teachers to complete the interview process.

It’s been a few hours since I sent the e-mail and I haven’t received a reply yet. Was it a mistake to send the follow up? Have I just shot myself in the foot? Am I doomed to teach middle school for my whole career?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I need to calm down, but I am so worried about not getting this job that I am tied up in knots. I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally want this high school job.

I have ideas for a special honors club that will help with student motivation and participation. I have ideas for an excellent curriculum that will keep the students engaged, participating, and enjoying the class. I want this.

I mean I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally want this.


After getting screwed over for the last two high school jobs that I applied for, I think I deserve this job. Hands down. It should be mine. No questions. No delays. I want to start building my high school program tomorrow.

But there’s nothing I can do about it right now. I have to hope and pray that this principal will decide to give me a chance. I just wish he would make up his mind soon.