After writing my last post, I started thinking about what makes me happy. Playing games. Watching good TV. No responsibilities. This is what makes me happy.
If I had any writing skills whatsoever, then I would be able to write reviews for games and pursue that with a relative passion. Same with TV. I could see myself as a TV critic for a website or a magazine. But I can’t write for shit, and the deadlines for writing would make it feel like work instead of something I enjoy. Which is why I feel like I’ll never be great or remembered for anything because as soon as something feels like work, I start losing happiness in that thing. I don’t know why.
I also like surprising people. Not like practical jokes, but as in exceeding expectations. However, I only really do this when the expectations start out low. If I start out with high expectations, then the only way to surprise people is to not meet those expectations. It’s much harder to exceed expectations when they start out so high.
I hate it when I exceed expectations and am not recognized for it. I went out of the way to do better than I was supposed to, and then not get any praise for it drives me crazy. That kid of recognition makes me feel special and also happy.