And I have no clue why.
It seems like lately everything is making me super angry. I’ve got enough control to avoid any blowups or outright fights, but I’m reaching the breaking point. I can feel it.
I’ve especially been angry at all the religious bullshit people are doing and posting about because of Easter weekend. Obviously, I am not a religious person. I think it is ignorant and shallow of people to believe that an invisible man in the sky can wipe away a person’s wrongs on a weekly basis just because they worship him and pledge their loyalty to him.
This belief offends me completely. I know there are some religious people who are good, but I’ve experienced so many horrible people who do horrible things in the name of their God that I just can’t abide by anyone who is religious and doesn’t immediately shun these incompetent and ignorant people.
It bothers me that even these good people can allow themselves to be brainwashed into thinking that their bad deeds can simply be washed away by going to church or pretending the talk to an imaginary person in the sky. That REALLY bothers me. It smacks of arrogance and laziness.
My awareness of money issues has been heightened recently. I’ve always pictured myself in various outlandish scenarios. I’ve imagined what my life would be like, how much easier my life would be with all the money I would have, if I had written and sung that new pop song that I just heard – or if I had acted in the big, new movie and/or TV show that would have made me famous – or if I had written that new big bestselling book that everyone has been talking about. I would have all the money I need to not work a regular job anymore and I would be able to work when I wanted to, on what I wanted to, instead of doing jobs for other people and working on their schedule instead of mine.
I know that I don’t want to be in debt anymore, and me and Mrs. Pie have worked up a budget and have started to save enough money to get out of debt as soon as possible. Some of our debt is by choice – some times we splurged and lived outside our means for a bit. but most of our debt is from accidents and bad luck. Our current car loan is because our old car died and it would have cost more than it was worth to fix – and you can’t get a loan for repairs – but we sure could get a loan for another different car. Our home air conditioner died before Grandma Pie did and it was $6,000+ for a new one. We’ve got another $5,000+ in medical debt from a couple of medical emergencies that me and my wife had a couple of years ago.
We are working on getting out of debt as quickly as possible, but every time we get a little ahead, something else happens to set up back. Things were going according to plan and then our washing machine crapped out on us this month. Can’t afford a new one, and it’s $300 to repair the current one. There goes the little bit of cushion we’d built up to help pay off the other debt faster. Two steps forward, three steps back…
My current dream is to have enough money so I don’t have to work a regular job anymore. I don’t know how to get enough money to do that, but our current track is saving us money, but the saving is so little that one small setback taps us out of funds. It’s just not fast enough. I don’t know what to do.