I started taking medicine for my anger, fear, and depression earlier this year and it’s made a huge difference in my mood and my life. I had a great end of the school year in the spring, an excellent summer vacation, and was very happy and optimistic about the upcoming fall semester.
Mrs. Pie was scheduled for a surgery two weeks ago. A simple procedure. It went bad.
Complications and the fact that the situation that caused the surgery in the first place ended up being worse than originally thought, for a couple of hours her life was in danger.
I immediately crashed.
For two hours, I was in hell. I didn’t know if my wife was going to live or not.
She did pull through, after they had to remove a large portion of her stomach and intestines, and much of the muscle tissue in her abdomen. Instead of a small outpatient surgery, she wa snot looking at an extended hospital stay. Four days later, she was well enou to go home to rest and not need round the clock supervision. She was home for a day, then she couldn’t breathe.
Back to the hospital.
For the second time in a week, my wife’s life was in danger. For the second time in a week, I was in hell.
The diagnosis took half a day to discover – multiple small pulmonary embolisms.
This was not good. The treatment for the embolisms is blood thinner, but she was only a week removed from major surgery. Blood thinners could cause major problems at the surgical sites. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much of a choice. She had to chance the blood thinners. The embolisms were the more prominent risk.
Another extended hospital stay.
She pulled through, again. Mrs. Pie is amazing.
Unfortunately, this hectic and stressful hospital schedule, coupled with our upcoming home sale and move, wrecked my schedule and I started taking my Prozac at irregular times. Because of that, I’ve felt the anger, fear, and anxiety seeping back into my life.
Now that things are going back to normal, I’m taking my meds at the regular times, but I think the irregular schedule meant they lost their effect. It will take about two weeks for them to start working again, but until then, I may be susceptible to a relapse of anger, fear and stress that will test my resolve.
I find myself scared to go back to work. All sorts of negative scenarios are constantly playing through my head about how bad things will be when I return to work. I want to believe that everything will be ok. I am struggling to be optimistic right now. I need the meds to start working again soon.